My "Statement of Intent" to the Augustine Institute of St. Louis, MO, for an MA in Theology program to which I was accepted on my 70th birthday.

 Statement of Intent *

In 600-800 words, please describe your personal and academic background, and explain why the M.A. in Theology is a good fit for you in light of your interests and goals.

Note: This went a bit long, so maybe it can dually serve as a writing sample.

I was raised a cradle Catholic in a church-going family, originally in a mid-size city in Connecticut. Kindergarten through 4^th grade was spent in a depressing public school. When a new Catholic school opened around the corner, my parents asked if I would be interested and I said yes. It was like landing in Oz.

Coinciding with my new start was a family announcement that we would be moving to the small town on Cape Cod where we had recently purchased a summer cottage. I loved this new summer escape but did not want to live there. So my Catholic school career lasted a mere four months. I was thriving there and asked if there would be a Catholic school I could attend once we moved, but was told no.

I remember sitting in the new-to-me public school on day one, staring up at the wall and noticing that there was no cross on display. A sinking sensation settled in. It was much nicer than my first public school, but still not ideal.

I tried to make the best of it. We commenced regular attendance at the Catholic church in town, where I was ultimately confirmed. I didn’t care much for the pastor, but my spirits lifted when a young priest was later added who played guitar, started a CYO group, and organized ski trips. After a year he was gone, and my hopes were dashed.

I did pretty well with sports, especially baseball, but soon drifted into occasional experiments with tobacco and alcohol. Looking back on it, I wasn’t thinking clearly about opportunities placed before me regarding possible academic and career paths. I muddled my way through college with little or no plan. Church attendance stopped after a few weeks away from home. I added marijuana to my repertoire and transferred after three semesters. I ultimately graduated with a B.A. in Mathematics, though my performance was less than stellar.

My first employment after college was in information technology in northern Massachusetts. I did well at first, but my drinking had progressed to daily use and my behavior was becoming increasingly erratic. I never drank on the job, but things started to take a turn for the worse. By age 25 I had signed myself into a rehab.

That was the end of my drinking, but it took another 13 months to put down the marijuana. During this period I was attending Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) meetings regularly. The spiritual dimension of its 12 Steps became of increasing interest. Though not drinking after rehab, I still desired to drink, so I took AA’s suggestion of praying on my knees first thing every morning, asking simply to have the desire for a drink to be lifted. I did this every day for about a month. Ultimately, it dawned on me that after drinking or thinking about drinking every day for 6.5 years, I was suddenly liberated from this affliction! It was life-altering!

I was still using marijuana sporadically but later repeated the prayer process, this time including occasional reading of the Gospels, and I was able to stop!

Another big move happened around this time as my employer had filed for bankruptcy and I was informed that I was one of those slated for a layoff. A nice offer in Rhode Island prompted a 90-mile move. I’ve been in the area ever since.

This was the start of a new life: fully sober and thoroughly immersed in recovery. An on-again, off-again reversion to my Catholic roots commenced. I got married (to a non-Catholic), had children, bought houses, and got better jobs. I completed an M.S. in Management at a Christian college along the way, with far better grades, and even wrote a thesis.

Just before my 50^th birthday, I was cleaning my garage in anticipation of a birthday party for myself, when a wave swept through me and I sensed a message, “You must return to the Catholic Church.” It brought me to tears. However, the only thing I’ve done since with consistency is to become a devoted watcher of a particular EWTN show, “The Journey Home.” There have been retreats, sporadic mass attendance, reading, etc., but nothing like I thought it might be after that experience. During the height of COVID I converted an unused area of my mancave into a prayer corner that continues to this day. Praying the rosary late at night is a favorite.

I’ve always felt like my Catholic formation never fully revived once I left that Catholic elementary school, and that, before my life is over, this needs to be rectified. Now retired, the game of golf has become a primary focus, but it has become clear that this is far from spiritually satisfying. I’ve been feeling a sense of restlessness for over a year now that needs to be addressed.

I’m envious of the many guests on The Journey Home program who have “read their way into the Church” – those who went on massive reading odysseys that led to a full conviction of the teachings of the Church. I’ve been leery of heading down such a path without proper guidance, fearing that I might go off in a wrong direction, possibly wasting a lot of time. That’s an appeal that this M.A. in Theology program has for me: a disciplined approach, put together by those who know far more than myself. It’s as if I feel the need for the structure of such a program to get where I’d like to be.

If anyone ever asks what I plan on doing with such a degree (which will invariably happen), I don’t think I’d be able to supply an answer at first. Professionally and financially, I don’t need to do anything with it. I certainly would like to be more consistently aligned with a particular parish. Individual spiritual growth and understanding would be my main goal. And maybe I’d learn enough to guide a few others along the path. But, I’m thinking, at first, I would likely not talk about it much, get to work, and simply let things unfold as they will.